Back for now...

Well, I'm 40 now :-(( For this milestone we decided to go away and have had a fantastic time in Rome.
This is a slightly older (!!) looking me on our last day. Having climbed the 320 steps at the top of St Peters we enjoyed the view before huffing and puffing all the way down. We did much sightseeing including the Sistine Chapel and the Vatican museums where we managed to go on the day where there was no entrance charge... On our time away I was spoilt rotten. We ate superb meals, drank fine wines (!) and I am incredibly heavy now (nothing to do with tonight's pancakes!) We had a pretty high impact three days and I even managed to squeeze in a bit of shopping. We have thrown a coin in the Trevi fountain so who knows when we will be coming back...

Now that we are back, I am rushing around like a headless chicken trying to get all the laundry done for when we go away again which is.... Sunday. We go to France for a week. Before then, I have to read and write the review on the Hand in Hand book, complete a job application form, go to a job interview on Friday, write a short story (I wasn't able to start the Chocoholic story although I did all the necessary research :-)). I hope to be able to blog en France if the software works.

Ciao or should it be a bien tot?

Hand in Hand

This image is powerful to me as it reminds me of God taking my hand in his and leading me. Many of you will know that I struggle with finding "normality" following Daniel's death last year. The struggle is getting harder as my less than normal life continues... HOWEVER, this morning, I received the book that I need to review for "Woman Alive" magazine. I hadn't been told the title of the book other than it was in the Inspiring Women series. Well, when I received the book today I just burst out laughing. It is entitled - Hand in Hand with God (Finding hope in a hurting world). It is a study of both Naomi and Ruth. The timing is absolutely impeccable!! It has reminded me how at times like these when you don't know which direction to go in, you are never alone and God tenderly leads you where he wants you to go. It is great to be reminded of this.

Nostalgia

Yesterday, Kevin and I went to see a group called Simple Minds. Those of you who are younger than 30 will have no idea who I am talking about. Anyway we went and turned the clock back about 18 years, sung our little hearts out and jigged around. They were surprisingly good and entertaining. It was interesting to see how the band had aged too.

I am on the "Woman Alive" reader panel and asked this week if I could write a book review. I did one last year which was published. I am thrilled as the answer is yes. My writing course has finished and I am not necessarily sure about what are the next steps to take but feel encouraged that I have another opportunity.

I am meeting back up with my Mum who has been in Australia for the last 6 months. We meet up next week before Kevin and I go and eat as much Italian ice-cream as we can in Rome.

Isn't it lovely, when the sun comes out? It was so beautiful earlier today that I could get out in the garden for a bit of fresh air. Lovely. It's very nearly Spring.

The Result

Well, today I got the phone call... I was unsuccessful following my interview on Wednesday, last week. Thanks to everyone who has prayed and supported me. Apparently the successful candidate has more recent banking experience than I do so it's now time to move on. I am thrilled that apparently I did well at all the tests and I have been told that they would be interested in pursuing my application if any vacancies come up in the future so I haven't made a complete hash of it. I was praying for the interviewers that they would pick the right person, so they have, it's just not me. That's ok.

If I am unable to get a permanent job within the next month or so (we go away to Rome and then off to France...) I shall have to go back to the temping which I detest so much but which at least means I get an income and gives me some variety. Until I find a permanent job. I hate being a stay at home, wife as I am not at all domestic and can't just seem to fix things. I am getting to be a bit of a Countdown expert though. I am scared that if I do not use my brain somehow it will seize up and I'm sure that I have experience the odd moment when this has happened...

Thinking about using my skills and talents I was reminded of the Ladies meeting at church on Thursday. Someone asked if anyone had any ideas of how to raise funds and I came up with a sponsored silence. Erm, I wasn't quite so sure of the response I got... Someone very tactfully told me that I wouldn't be using my skills and talents (oh, well)

Who am I again???

Today something interesting happened when I was at the interview, I had a glimpse of the sort of person that I used to be (I'd forgotten who that is!) I arrived at the interview a good 15 mins early down to both Tim and Kevin's best efforts to navigate the 30 miles or so (Kevin had taken me for a dummy (!) run the night before). I felt relaxed at the interview and even laughed naturally. Thinking about it so did the interviewers but then again they had to listen to my answers. I really don't know how I got on but the interview was a positive experience. I resisted the urge when they asked me about the sort of challenges that I had faced to talk about my Angel Delight coloured drive. (Honestly, all it needs is a couple of hundreds and thousands and it would look like a trifle...) Thank you bloggers for praying for me, I do feel uplifted by your support and I did feel carried today. Finding the office and a parking space were also further answers to prayer. The drive still needs prayer!!

Again it was a panel interview but the atmosphere was much more informal. One of the things that I find really difficult is that as I am grieving I am not sure how I come across and it is not the sort of thing that you want to mention either. The interview lasted 55 minutes (no, I wasn't doing all the talking either although I did describe myself as chatty). The time that I really clammed up was when I was asked to explain my Christian Faith and all the words I was searching for were temporarily unavailable. I sounded lame even to me but was really glad that I had written an A4 evidence statement... I was then shown round the offices and everyone seemed really friendly.

Later on I had the 5 assessments which on the whole weren't too bad but there were a couple that I didn't finish. These were seeking to check my attention to detail and I don't think that I performed these particularly well. One of the assessments was a personality test with comments like:" Do you upset people?" I could hardly put yes but no seems a bit too virtuous. Are you competitive? Again another no.

This position was advertised in our Church Newsletter and doesn't exactly fit my background to date but I am looking for new direction so didn't automatically discount this vacancy. I will know by either the end of this week or the beginning of next whether I have been successful or not. I have asked God to shut the door if this is not the right opportunity for me. At the moment, I feel excited because even if this is not the right post for me, I have given my best at what is still a difficult time. I am encouraged that I can laugh again.

Busy Doing Nothing

My sabbatical hasn't really turned out how I hoped it would. I had envisaged lazy days catching up with friends, meeting up in quaint coffee shops and discovering new talents. Well, let's just say I have now landed on Planet Reality!!

We have the builders in as our drive needed resurfacing. Is it just me or do Tradesmen have their own timescale (one promised to phone me after 5 pm - which later turned into 9:45 pm!!) A 4-day job is now turning into a 2 week stint instead. Can you imagine my horror when I look out of the window today and see the drive looking a cute barbie pink!! Trying not to show any concern about the revised colour scheme (it should be a staid buff colour) I nonchalantly enquire as to how it will look when it will dry. "Oh, don't worry love it dries up a different colour!!" Well, how was I supposed to know. I have not ventured out of the house as when I do my feet are engulfed in a strawberry dust storm.

Even our radiator in the lounge, is crying and this streaming was curtailed by the plumber last week only to return again with a vengeance.

I have had a bad cold so the only people that I have been in contact with lately have been the Tradesmen who I do believe come off a different planet with their technical language and fluid timescales...

My cold prevented me buying a new frock and going to the Hilton with Kevin on Friday. Ok, it would have been difficult finding an evening hanky complete with rhinestones and I would have needed my own private plumber but that's not the point. I have known Kevin for 18 years and there has never been an opportunity before and I would have liked to have gone before I dance round my Zimmer frame.

My cold is going now and I am relieved as I prepare for my interview on Wednesday. As it is a Christian organisation I have to prove my faith convincingly. I find this a little challenging to say the least. Must remember to take 2 pairs of shoes, one for walking along the strawberry dustfield and the other to look normal (!) in and go with my interview suit. Kevin thought I should put carrier bags on my feet but knowing me I would forget to take them off for the interview. At least I would get noticed...

If you don’t succeed…

I tried to blog yesterday at 1:00 a.m. and the blogging network crashed leaving my blog cast away in cyberspace… It has been a funny couple of days really where I don’t feel that I have anything really to show for my time out. Yesterday I spent a lot of time typing, thinking and trying to put together my 1500 word assignment which was due in today. Despite all my false starts yesterday I was able to start again from scratch today and complete it for this evening‘s class. Deadlines always concentrate my mind to get things done and recently I have been really challenged about how I spend my time as without any I have a tendency to get it done whenever (especially housework!!) The same verse keeps appearing, firstly in a magazine article I read on Friday, then at the Evening Service at church and yesterday it was the verse of the day I saw on two websites and was emailed to me as well so the drip drip effect has meant that it has registered. Colossians 3 v 23 - 24:
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ that you are serving.”
I have always found this verse to be really helpful in a work capacity but have never thought of it in a “housewifely” way before. One of the things that I have found difficult without working is the lack of structure and a feeling well it doesn’t matter whether I do something now or later and I have been having the odd (!) lie in... I am just not used to having so much free time but feel now that this time needs to be better utilised. So, by doing the things that need doing regularly, this will then allow me to do spontaneous stuff when it comes along without any mad panic. Well, that’s the plan anyhow…