A year on...

This is one of my favourite photos. It was taken at Little Haven Hospice when Daniel was being entertained by a guitarist and we were all giving the Late Pope a bit of a send off!

A year has now passed since I last cradled Daniel in my arms. It is too painful sometimes and now is one of those times. Kevin and I went to a memorial service at a church near to Great Ormond Street on Saturday for newly bereaved parents( although some have been coming for many years!) It was a very emotional time and Kevin described me as a "flood risk!" We have some difficult memories of GOSH so it was hard enough anyway. The service was good but it was wall to wall with parents weeping for their lost children. Heartbreaking! There was a role call of each deceased child and a candle was lit in their memory. We have an entry in the memorial book for Daniel there and we saw this. It is so hard to see the date of death in print. I didn't know how I would react but felt that I wanted an opportunity to just remember his life. People who meet me now, just don't know about my background which is good and healthy but sometimes I want to talk to everyone about how special and unique Daniel was but it just isn't appropriate.

I have decided that I would get my eyelashes tinted as I knew we were entering a time of weeping so I didn't want to completely look smudged all the time. I now have the confidence not to look like a Panda if I get caught out unawares. It is holding its own...

On Saturday, this week one of my friends and I are going to Little Haven for a memorial service. This is also an annual event.

On the anniversary itself both Kevin and I will be at work - just to keep occupied. Today, I managed to have a little scratch in my car. Nothing serious, just shows that I'm a bit of a stresshead at the moment.

Thanks to everyone who has been praying, emailing, texting, phoning and sending cards. It is really appreciated. Thanks fellow bloggers xx