Facing up

Today I went to St John's and was feeling very smug with myself that my little grief gremlins seemed to be having a day off. Daniel died there so it is always going to be an emotional place. People do not say that pride comes before a fall for nothing...

I had to go to a department that I had taken Daniel to and after a 15-minute wait my bottom lip was most definitely quivering and my eyes became the self cleansing variety spontaneously.

I decided that I would visit the Community Nurses to give them some items which I thought would be helpful rather than just throwing away. Their office shares the same access as Sunshine Ward, the Children's ward and a Consultant paediatrician who didn't recognise me let me in because in his words "you look like a Mum". My new self-cleansing eyes went into overdrive and I looked like the Gazza Spitting Image puppet. It was good to see the nurses again, we did despite everything have some laughs during the 15 months in which they supported us as a family. They got to know me really well, so our previous parting had been rather sudden.

I also bump into the cleaners on Sunshine Ward who remember me and ask me how I am then huge deafening silence.

Heading back to the car, my emotions felt all over the place when I hear a tap tap tap. God is good, he provided me with a cheery face, none other than Helen Tween, to help restore my emotional equilibrium. Shopping also helped!!

Tonight I met up with a friend and saw Pride and Prejudice which has smouldering performances with Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley. A must view for all girls. It warmed my heart...

Wonder what tomorrow will bring.