Bad Day

Had a really awful day today. Thankfully am counting the days to when we go away to France again, not long now. I do count my blessings, honestly but just feel exhausted. One of the pieces of advice I am given over and over again is, to be kind to myself. This is woolly advice as it isn't tangible and how do you be kind to yourself? Very hard to define. Others know that you are "different" but cannot place why. You bruise easily. You try to focus on things outside your situation but just don't know how to respond now that you are a different person. You can't just lslot in with everyone else as you are set apart by the depths of your sorrow. Words are meaningless, nobody knows what to say as they cannot relate to you and you cannot explain.

It is really hard to believe that this time, last year we were having our only family holiday. Daniel was totally oxygen dependent, was on 12 medications and we had to contact the local Community Nursing Team in Norfolk in case of emergency. Who would have thought that this would be a good memory but it truly is. Daniel had a picnic, went bowling, went on the beach and on an open air train ride. So much has happened since then.

Whilst God may be silent, I have the absolute conviction that he is carrying me. This is a companiable silence and one of reassurance.