Blogging

I am having a bit of a crisis. Well, it’s not me; it’s my computer… It keeps throwing a wobbly each time I try to blog so I can take a hint. It has been known to only publish half a blog so it has become my Editor. Please don’t think I am complaining (see Pat’s blog) but I do think I have to keep on the right side of it otherwise it will finish our relationship (it’s the boss!!)

Normal life seems to be going on now. Kevin and I went to a Pub quiz last week (our team came second from bottom), went out for a meal and went to Kew Gardens too. We are able to maintain a level of normality and can smile now. This level of normality immediately disappears when I come to church. I only have to see/hear a child, sing a song with certain lyrics or have any vague reference to family and I am a gibbering wreck. Daniel has been dead 15 weeks today and we have had to learn so much more from his death than we did during his lifetime. I find grief to be like snakes and ladders you can go along and almost increase your pace in life when you find a snake and go sliding right back down. We have passed empty and being burdened by our grief just a feeling of anti-climax. At the time of crisis you can cope but immediately afterwards it is the enormity of what you have been through that can be so debilitating. We may come back to this phase again but at least we are not permanently stuck in it.

I am working full-time still at the Fire Brigade and am even having to work longer hours to benefit from the flexi system. This is a bit of a struggle for me as I do not have the stamina.

Lastly, I learned something useful today. Did you know that if your mobile cannot pick up a signal, if you dial 112 you can be diverted to the nearest satellite to get the emergency services?

Will blog soon, computer willing.