Difficult Day…

The 3rd of July is exactly 2 months to the day when Daniel died so I knew it was going to be difficult. When I went to church this morning, we sang “How Great Thou Art”. This hymn was played at Daniel’s crematorium service and also sang at his Celebratory Service. It was really hard to shift the images of a tiny white coffin with a pair of Daniel’s blue sandals and a teddy bear from my mind. I started off well, but by the 3rd verse I am sobbing uncontrollably. Fortunately this was the final hymn. I have a good friend either side of me and all of us are weeping together. Definitely the sign of a good friend. Whilst I really detest being so emotionally open, I feel blessed that church is a safe place. So be warned if you sit next to me my emotion may spill over (and always carry a spare hanky please!!)

Ever feel that God is trying to tell you something? I went into the church bookshop and saw “How to get a grip on grief” and “Losing a Child”. It did make me laugh. I now have them to add to my grief collection. I will soon be an expert.

I bumped into a former colleague today and she knew how supportive Elim is to us as a family and that was without me telling her. I think that it is great that people know this. Who knows where this may lead.

I managed to channel all my emotion into the Wimbledon final but felt that a bit lacklustre so made a complaint to the Jobcentre instead. I have even written to the Chief Executive for his personal intervention following my subhuman treatment there. I have also made a number of suggestions on how to improve the service. Well, you never know unless you try…

Thanks for your continued prayers. I used to know a Preacher at former church and he often would say that God can bring order out of chaos. I believe this and am praying that God would reveal to me what I am going to learn from this. I believe I am being prepared for “such a time as this” whatever that may be.