It's been a funny old week...

I haven't really got into this week, wot with no church, a Bank Holiday and on Thursday I had a day out sick from work. So I've been feeling drained but a little lighter (work it out dont' want to give you TMI -too much information...) On Thursday afternoon I felt a bit brighter but still without energy so I did a bit of a silly thing really. I seem to have got sucked into the crafty thing making a few cards and preparing to do my Daniel scrapbook. Well, I decided to look at some cards to give me inspiration and I hit upon looking at the birth cards for ideas for the scrapbook. I know it wasn't a wise move, because inevitably it did upset me, BUT going through each card reminded me of the love and support we received as a family particularly from the church. So whilst it was a painful experience, if I hadn't done it I would not have received the blessing. I guess this is all part of the bigger picture.

On Wednesday, I started to talk to a work colleague about Daniel. There are only 2 people who know. Somehow she made a comment which lead onto me giving her the edited highlights (or should I say lowlights). I only spoke for a couple of minutes and didn't bog her down with detail. Unfortunately, I cannot share the better bits about Daniel without giving the context in which things happened. One of the things that I find hardest to adjust to is that people who meet me now don't have any understanding of who I was before, that I am a Mum and all that that means to me. In some ways, I don't want them to get to know me other than superficially but it means that there is something missing (actually someone) and I just can't talk about it because there is no relevance to the present or future. It's a bit strange really. It's not a gripe, just an acceptance of the gap between myself and others. It makes me think, who else feels like this too, about other things? So you can see, a funny old week, really...