A week in the life of...

Well, I thought that I’d keep blogging but have had a week off for good behaviour! This past week both Daniel and I have been having a little holiday in Little Haven Children’s Hospice. We have both been resident and the idea is that I come away with my batteries recharged whilst Daniel has the time of his life.

We were only meant to be staying for a total of 4 days but extended our stay for another 2 nights as with one thing and another it didn’t prove to be the restful experience that I hoped for. Daniel, however, did have the time of his life and is pretty unimpressed that he only has Mummy and his toys to play with now. He is showing diva tendencies a little early.

Daniel still has problems when he is fed as he often retches. This is really painful for him and is quite violent. There has been a level of concern that the severity of his retching could undo his stomach surgery that he had done in December. To cut a long story short we are trying all different timings and quantities of feeding in the hope that a solution is found. Nothing yet. We may have to feed him by pump overnight so our house will look even more like a hospital than it does already. I am trying to get my head around all the alternatives. This is hugely exhausting and also soul destroying. All this was being weighed up in the Hospice so I wasn’t really in the right frame of mind to relax.

For many reasons our stay was one which turned into a monumental emotional rollercoaster for me. When things got really difficult I prayed with a lay preacher who asked me to concentrate on just one thing that I had learned from the 40 Days of Purpose. I know that no experience is wasted – every problem is purpose driven and fulfils the 5 purposes that God has for us in our life. Little Haven is a Christian Hospice and I am able to discuss my faith openly with the staff (something I still find comes very awkwardly).

God has some lovely touches. On my worst day in Little Haven when I had been emotionally distraught God’s gentleness to me was breathtakingly beautiful to behold. I managed to trust God during a time of immense doubt but I had been fearful. My prayers were answered very quickly but that wasn’t all. On that day I went in the swimming pool, I have never been able to swim. I swam my first width because I knew that I had conquered fear through the strength that God had given me. I was exhilarated as previously I could not take my feet off the floor but now I can swim! God gave me more than I asked him and I ended the day on a high rather than remembering all the stress of the days events.