40 Days of purpose - Day 35

God’s power in your weakness

If ever there was a chapter with my name on it, this is it!! It has helped that the word weakness is described as "any limitation that you inherited or have no power to change". That sums up the situation with Daniel nicely. However, it is a struggle to be content with the problems associated with Daniel’s health. When I first had Daniel I accepted that he had Downs Syndrome it was all the additional medical problems that were diagnosed that I felt were harder to deal with (the feeding problems, the problems vomiting all the time, breathing problems and needing oxygen and the high blood pressure in his lungs. I have never met anyone who has been in my situation and I have spent a lot of time looking!! I have learnt over time; however, to accept that this is God’s will for us as a family. Whilst I do not understand the reasons for many things I recognise that God can and does great things when we are weak. Our attitude needs to be one of openness and belief that God will use our situation for his glory.

Before I had Daniel I did not rely on God but did a lot of things in my own strength. I found it really hard to let God into many areas of my life due to my closet control freak tendencies. Now I have really learnt how to rely upon God. This is extremely difficult when you love someone and do not want them to suffer or be hurt. However, I believe that no pain is wasted and during these times of intense pain we allow God to get close enough to us so we can hear him whisper to us. I was talking to a friend today and I was thinking about how life was before Daniel. I can look back on this time and recognise how unhappy I was as I limited my availability to God. I took for granted the good things and was miserable about a lot less… Through many of the experiences since Daniel’s birth God has blessed us and I feel much more positive as I have a closer relationship with God now. I just wonder why I waited so long. I believe that God had to take me to a place where I needed to rediscover him in a powerful and tangible way before I could be an effective disciple of his. Isn’t it good to know that God does not give up on us ever.