40 Days of Purpose - Day 32

Using what God gave you


No matter how many times I read this chapter I find it difficult to identify my "shape". There are times when I wish there was a spiritual mirror given to me so I could see my abilities. At this time, I feel stuck in a map where the "you are here" sign shows but not much else. Never mind. I guess really I just need to try new things to discover what comes more naturally and what doesn’t. Easy to say, much harder in practice. One of the things which has spoken to me throughout the PDL is openness to God. By allowing Him greater space he can just do more in my life. It is unlearning the habit of being in my spiritual comfort zone and trusting God to encourage me to use my gifting (when I’ve found it…) One of my past struggles has been that I am not good/holy/clever enough (or all three) which has meant that I have made "safe" choices to serve. Since Daniel has been born there are different opportunities for me to share how God has blessed us and I need to pray through the implications of these.

A good friend and I are going to be honest with each other about how we perceive the other is gifted. Scary new territory… Earlier this month to see whether I had a particular ability, I wrote to someone I had never met for some advice. I know this sounds cringeworthy but I honestly felt that God was telling me to do this. Although my letter has not been responded to, and I felt sick with nerves, I have at least obeyed God on this. If anything comes of this letter I’ll let you know.

One of the biggest barriers for me to being a maturer Christian is the amount of time that I give to God. This is a very real issue when it comes to service and definitely when it comes to a spiritual journal. I have decided to keep my diary about the PDL so that I could refer to it and remind myself of the key points. Sometimes I have reread what I have written later on and it has encouraged me by showing me things that God is revealing to me. Knowing that you are reading this is an encouragement too – so thank you.