Patience

Hmm… I find this hugely difficult right now. I am still waiting to hear about how I got on at the job interview. I know it was only yesterday, but it feels like years ago. At the weekend, Kevin and I went to a garden show. There was the most beautiful plant and I said to Kevin (tongue in cheek of course!!) “ I want it and I want it now!! And surprisingly I got it. This is just how I feel about life, I would like it to move onto the next phase, the post-bereavement phase. I know that one of the fruits of the spirit is not short-cut suffering, it has to be long suffering. Groan!

The Adult College prospectus is available now and initially I went through it planning at least 4 different courses. Although this may seem like a great idea in theory in practice, this means that I wouldn’t be able to meet up with friends or have any spontaneity, which would be a real shame. At the moment, I seem to be having a complete knee jerk reaction to life. I need to slow down and think before I do things. The verse that springs to mind is “Be still and know that I am God”. It is so hard in these hectic times to be still for any of us. Sometimes, you can go somewhere expecting to find peace without success. Last week, I popped into Chelmsford Cathedral for some quiet reflection. Funnily enough, that wasn’t possible due to a drum concert being held by about 8 children… When I am blogging, I often feel peaceful and that seems odd in comparison. By sharing my brokenness, this acts as a release valve. Looking at things in black and white literally can help me put them in perspective and I find that nothing ever appears so bleak once I have written it down.

I know that I am on a new journey but I am not alone, my God is with me.