40 days of purpose - Day 3

Braynews
Day Three

Reading through today’s chapter, I was wondering what actually drives me. Some people have described me as driven (driven to distraction?) but looking within I couldn’t identify by what. Today God has reminded me that I am driven by fear and that he is going to overcome this in my life (soon please…) and I imagine my son, Daniel, will be part of that plan. He is a very medically complicated little boy and we never know what to expect next. Routine checkups can uncover some medical anomalies, which even the top specialists at Great Ormond Street struggle to come up with the solutions. So I fear the next appointment (and believe me he has many!!) because often we receive more bad news and have to deal with some major issues. This is something, which is currently ongoing. It is very hard to accept the intensity of what is happening when you have to continually accept that your life is so very different from anyone that you know. The world perceives you as “freakish” because you are not typical as you do not conform to the norm.

If I am honest throughout my life I have used fear as an excuse not to do something for the fear of failure. Having been reminded to readjust my focus to how God sees me I know that I will experience the freedom that God alone can give. I have the privilege of being an Auntie and took my youngest niece to see some butterflies this week. We also saw a number of pupae and that image has stayed with me. I feel like I am in a chrysallis cocooned and in the dark but discovering God’s purpose will release me to be the patterned butterfly he has chosen me to be. I can feel my wings beating and know that if I can be obedient and follow through the 40 days then I will be able to fly landing purposefully in areas that he has prepared for me.